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The Daily Toad: Proudly disseminating sensationalised rubbish since 1645. 29th Feb 2008.


Lucasfilm accused of falsifying video evidence in Greedo murder trial

the Rodian bounty hunter named Greedo

The dead Rodian Bounty-hunter.
Relatives contend that depite trafficking
in misery, he was 'good at heart'


Han Solo

Han solo: lovable rogue or murderer?
Recent heroic exploits may hide
a darker past.

As the Greedo murder trial enters its seventeenth week, the defence case now rests on controversial film evidence that the prosecution contends is 'tainted'.

"The 'who fired first?' question is the central tenant of this trial," explained an R2-6H attorney droid yesterday, "and we have irrefutable video proof that Mr Solo was simply acting in self-defence."

The murder trial of Correlian ex-smuggler General Han Solo is itself a controversial issue, coming so soon after his highly significant role in the fall of the Galactic Empire. But relatives of the deceased Greedo have brought a private action against the ex-spice smuggler, and although he is being tried in absentia, the ruling may be binding across the Federation.

The trial, which is being held in a hot and stuffy courtroom at Mos Eisley, Tatooine, has seen a procession of witnesses who were all in the cantina that afternoon, and all swear categorically that Han Solo shot Greedo 'in cold blood' over an issue that involved a dumped cargo and a former boss who was referred to only as 'Mr H'.

In refuting these claims, the Solo defence team described the witnesses as 'a hive of scum and villainy', and showed the court an excerpt from a boxed set 'Special edition' DVD of A New Hope which clearly showed Greedo attempting to murder Solo. But in a shock twist to the proceedings, the prosecution managed to obtain an old VHS copy of Star Wars on eBay which depicted an entirely different set of circumstances - that solo fired first and Greedo didn't fire at all - which forensic blast residue evidence also seemed to indicate.

In a highly charged atmosphere, representatives of Lucasfilm were asked to explain how the two versions might have come about, and which - if any - were a true account. After a lengthy cross-examination, a senior executive at Industrial Light & Magic admitted that 'changes might have been made' but that 'George' made them do it.

The trial continues

Wendell Hatchett, reporting for The Toad.



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