Previous Article Next Article
The Daily Toad: Proudly disseminating sensationalised rubbish since 1645. 21st May 2020
|Indigo leaves spectrum |
to pursue solo career
Indigo yesterday, considering his future in the 445 to 464 Nm wavelength
The visible section of the electromagnetic spectrum were 'shocked and bewildered' yesterday after the surprise announcement that indigo, one of the founder members of the popular visual group was leaving to pursue 'other interests'.
The seven strong group, who can trace its founding to within a pico second of the Big Bang, were yesterday said to be 'considering it's response' but assured the public that all appearances would continue, and that: 'anything either electronically or biologically able to detect the abstract concept we call colour would continue without a break'
Although the shock announcement was met with incredulity to the world's press, visible light insiders had been privately expressing concerns that a split within the group had been rumbling for some time, as although generally amenable, it is well known that the colours are rarely complementary when speaking about each other in private.
The Spectrum's Manager issued a press release that: "Indigo's loss will be keenly felt by the group. We would like to reassure the visually equipped members of the biosphere that both Violet and Blue will work double time to make up for his absence. We understand the need for Indigo to find themselves as a solo colour, and we wish them all the best with their endeavours."
"I think Indigo's departure has been on the cards for a while," said Colour Analyst who did not wish to be named yesterday, "It's well know that Red, Green and Blue have always considered themselves primary in the group's decision making, and this may have led Indigo to feel sidetracked, especially when Blue and Azure were voted 'best double act ever' for their wildly popular 'Aegean Sea' at the Munsell Awards last January, while Indigo was given a 'highly commended' for his work with Victoria Plums."
Although little difference could be felt in this morning's visual stimuli aside from a brief lightening of fox gloves and a mildly pinker rose madder, a publicist acting on behalf of Indigo were keen to point out that the solo colour was not 'taking a break' and was already in negotiations with Pantone and Dulux over some lucrative licensing deals.
Orange, the more outspoken member of Spectrum broke ranks with the other colours and declared: "He can do his own thing. He's not the best purple in the world, in fact, I don't even think he's the best purple in the spectrum. But ultimately visible light can get along without him. He needs us more than we need him."
This might indeed be true. Spectral historians were quick to point out that this isn't the first time the Spectrum has lost a colour. In 1632 the distinct blue-green colour known as Squee walked out of the Spectrum citing 'creative differences' and retired to Martinique. Who remembers what they even looked like?
Josh Hatchett, Ace ToadReporter, Exclusively for Jasperland, May 21st 2020.
Also in your Daily Toad:
All microwaves to have 'Countdown music' option for last thirty seconds, say Panasonic.
Lightbulb has lightbulb moment in flash of self awareness
Elephant remembers what it has forgotten in worrying pachyderm paradoxical mix up
Shades of Grey sequel 'will not write itself' say frustrated readers.
'I'm inventing a machine to do just that,' replied author, without offering any evidence.