Upgrade to US edition of "The Woman Who Died A Lot"

As is customary with early book releases, there are a few bugs that made it through the rigorous testing procedures for which Fforde books have not become legendary. The following instructions allow you to update your edition to an all new TN6/V1.1.

I am indebted to the disturbingly high levels of pedantry exhibited by my Upgrade Monitors this year, in particular: Virginia Downes. My grateful thanks to all of you.

1: Editions covered by this upgrade: All Hodder hardback and Readers club softback editions. ON NO ACCOUNT attempt to upgrade any proof copies or USA editions; a 'deep text crash' may result which will render your book unreadable and may well wipe out all the planet's fiction.

2: Earth the book by touching it lightly against a dictionary.

3: If you are running your library on the outdated SCROLL V7.3 or PAPYRUS 2.8, please upgrade immediately to BOOK 8.3 which is available by downloading HERE .

4: If you are running the Beta Version of BOOK V9 or "UltraWord™" as it is known and have Anti-GrammasitePro™ or ReadZip™ activated, please disable before upgrade. Third party hardware ancillaries such as bookmarks, pressed flowers, old bus tickets, prophylactics, etc, must also be removed.

5: Using a fine black pen make the following corrections:

1/ Turn to page 26 and where it says: "the work was already having an affect" change "affect" to "effect"

2/ Turn to page 35 and where it says "Does what effect my work?" change "effect" to "affect"

3/ Turn to page 54 and where it says "I wasn't going to tell him I had upped my patch dosage to four" change "four" to "five"

4/ Turn to page 58 and where it says "makes up for only 22 percent of visible reading matter" delete "for"

5/ Turn to page 69 and where it says "you won't a have a few boffo laughs" delete "a"

6/ Turn to page 82 and where it says "makes up less than twenty percent of the theoretical quantity change "less than" to "somewhere around"

7/ Turn to page 104 and where it says "I heard you were in the county of Wessex's possession." change to "I heard you were in the frame for heading up SO-27." (Grammasites at work as line is actually meant to be on the following page)

8/ Turn to page 105 and where it says "Mathematica Principia" change to "Pricipia Mathematica"

9/ Turn to page 224 and where it says "No one like ax murders" change to "no one likes ax murderers"

10/ Turn to page 282 and where it says "I could see Landen standing at the side with Tuesday, chewing her nails" add "who was" to give "who was chewing her nails" (just incase you thought that Landen was chewing Tuesday's nails!)

11/ Turn to page 284 and where it says "mechanical tones of her contemporaries" change to "mechanical tones of her colleagues"

12/ Still on page 284 - where it says "we had succeeded in attempting to make her..." change to "we had succeeded in our attempt to make her..."

13/ Turn to page 354 and where it says "Tears welled up in my eyes", change to "Tears would have welled up in my eyes if I'd had tear ducts". As Thursday has no tear ducts at this point as she is Day Player Thursday.

(Upgrade Assistant - Virginia Downes)

6: Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of The Woman Who Died A Lot V1.1. To fully authenticate your copy download the upgrade sticker file by clicking HERE. Print out the download and affix it to the title page of your copy. Thank you for using the jasperfforde.com upgrade service.