USA Upgrade to 'The Fourth Bear V2.1'

As is customary with early book releases, there are a few bugs that made it through the rigorous testing procedures for which Fforde books have not become legendary. The following instructions allow you to update your edition to an all new TFB/V2.1.

1: Editions covered by this upgrade: All Viking hardback and Readers club softback editions. ON NO ACCOUNT attempt to upgrade any advanced Readers copies or UK editions; a 'deep text crash' may result which will render your book unreadable and may well wipe out all the planet's fiction.

2: Earth the book by touching it lightly against a dictionary.

3: If you are running your library on the outdated SCROLL V7.3 or PAPYRUS 2.8, please upgrade immediately to BOOK 8.3 which is available by downloading HERE .

4: If you are running the Beta Version of BOOK V9 or "UltraWord™" as it is known and have Anti-GrammasitePro™ or ReadZip™ activated, please disable before upgrade. Third party hardware ancillaries such as bookmarks, pressed flowers, old bus tickets, prophylactics, etc, must also be removed.

5: Using a fine black pen make the following corrections:

1/ Turn to the inside bookjacket and where it says that Goldy is a reporter for The Mole, change it to The Toad. (Jenniffer Groceman/Jonathan Asay)

2/ Turn to page 38 and where it says ''Mary's reticence was not without foundation" cross out 'reticence' and replace with 'reluctance' so the line reads: ''Mary's reluctance was not without foundation" Strange and perhaps incorrect word choice (Rob Caley)

3/ Turn to page 70 and where it says '43.2 decibels" replace with '143.2 decibels'. Apparently 43.2 decibels isn't really that loud (Melissa LeSage)

4/ Turn to page 82 and where it says:
"The creature was an ugly little monkey-like brute with hair that made it look like a black pig with psoriasis"
Change to read:
"The creature was an ugly little monkey-like brute with matted hair and skin ingrained with the dirt of a thousand missed bath-nights."
The condition of psoriasis is no joking matter, and my unreserved apologies to anyone who has been hurt by this reference.

iii/ Turn to page 162 (last paragraph) and where it says: 'I was not in the trash.' Add opening quotation marks to Ed's statement. (Vinnie Kinsella)

iiii/ Turn to page 244 and where it says "Overquotaing" in the chapter title, change to read "Overquotaring"

THEN: In the chapter heading (same page) where it says: "Gerald's successive ancestors cited many reasons " cross out 'ancestors' and replace with 'descendants' This must be a ChronoGuard thing. (Rob Caley)

iv/ Turn to page 244 and where it says "Overquotaing" in the chapter title, change to read "Overquotaring"

THEN: In the chapter heading (same page) where it says: "Gerald's successive ancestors cited many reasons " cross out 'ancestors' and replace with 'descendants' This must be a ChronoGuard thing. (Rob Caley)

v/ Turn to page 282 and where it says: "At Veils [reverse R] Us" the reverse R has popped above the line - delete and change. (Carol E Wheeler)

vi/ Turn to page 302 and where it says: Judy and I run a marriage-guidance center. Mr. and Mrs. Briggs have been seing us for several years now. It's bad. Separate-beds bad." insert missing opening quote marks - "Judy and I...(Martha Bode)

vii/ Turn to page 366 and where it says: "I'll think I'll do your legs first" cross out and the first 'I'll' and replace with "I" Copyediting slippage. (Rob Caley)

6: Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of The Fourth Bear V2.1. To fully authenticate your copy download the upgrade sticker file by clicking HERE. Print out the download and affix it to the title page of your copy. Thank you for using the jasperfforde.com upgrade service.