Welcome to the Special Operations Network's new website

By 1991, SpecOps was in disarray. Due to the rapidly expanding size of the network and the ever-increasing managerial skill needed for its continued smooth running, SpecOps had become a massive drain on the Nation's resources. Faced with extensive fiscal cuts in the now-infamous 1992 budget, SpecOps upper management decided on a bold new vision: to maintain the prized SpecOps bureaucracy intact, and disband the service.

We at SO-1 are happy to report that the decreased workload has been extremely welcome, allowing us to concentrate our resources on improved management without the burden of actually having to run anything, and we can now boast levels of efficiency that are greatly in excess of those when we had to actually do something.

Unfortunately, due to a clerical oversight we still have five SpecOps departments, a sorry state of affairs that serves only to taint our increased nonproductivity

If you are having any sort of problems regarding those five, then this website may be of use. If your concern regards one of the disbanded departments, we suggest calling the police or, failing that, hiding under a table until the danger has passed.