Lockdown Quiz Night Inferred Narratives


Quiz night expert Jeremy Paxman, here seen interviewing Captain Pugwash, the details of which can be found in Toad News

Like many people, we keep in touch with Friends and Relatives with Lockdown Quizzes, usually over Zoom. The following was a quiz I wrote for my mother and father in law, and featured their pride - a spanking new Peugeot Majestic 135 Motorhome, currently occupying a large space on our drive.

Specialist Subject:
The Peugeot Majestic 135 Motorhome

Question 1:
The Peugeot Majestic 135 is a powerful motorhome for cruising at speed for long distances. How long would it take, foot to the floor, to get from Hay on Wye to PC World in Hereford?

A: 22 minutes
B: 32 Minutes
C: 19.5 Minutes

Question 2:
The Majestic 135 is equipped with large mirrors for safe and easy reversing. So as to not damage the steering for a potential getaway, at what speed would it considered prudent to drive the Peugeot Majestic 135 to gain entry to PC World, bearing in mind there is a bollard buried two foot into the ground in front of the locked doors?

A: 6 MPH
B: 12 MPH
C: As fast as you can go

Question 3:
How many electronic goods can you fit into the back of surprisingly spacious Peugeot Majestic 135 Motorhome, given there are two of you, one is a little dazed from running over the bollard, and that you have only eight minutes before the cops arrived?

A: Two Toasters and an iPod
B: Six Empty display boxes, a handful of keyboards and several Hero GoPro accessories
C: One 32" flat screen TV, a box of blank DVDs, a dozen non-apple iPad accessories

Question 4:
With a rear wheel bent out of alignment, does the impressively robust Peugeot Majestic 135 Motorhome still have enough power to get away from a Ford Focus Police Car?

A: Yes
B: No
C: Yes, but you lose the flat screen TV in the process.

Question 5:>
The Peugeot Majestic 135 Motorhome has many fire retardant safety features, but is it fire-retardant enough to leave any evidence when being set alight, given that there is only a single five litre can of petrol to set it alight, and the fire brigade arrives in 36 minutes?

A: Yes
B: No
C: The evidence was successfully challenged in court due to sample contamination.

Question 6:
Your Peugeot Majestic 135 carries full and effective trouble-free insurance. What would be likely outcome if your daughter and son in law took it ram-raiding and then set it on fire?

A: You will be fully recompensed for the value of a brand new Peugeot Majestic 135
B: You will receive the value of your Peugeot Majestic 135 as it was when it was stolen, but only after a protracted legal battle because your daughter and son in law claim you 'lent it to them', a fact that might be corroborated by their possession of the keys.
C: You get the replacement value, less a 500 excess, which you grudgingly pay

Question 7:
The Peugeot Majestic 135 seats 4 in comfort and style. You are now the custodians of your granddaughters. If you were to visit your daughter and son in law in prison near Wrexham, do you:

A: Take the Peugeot Majestic 135 with your grandchildren and use its many luxurious features to visit sites in North Wales and make a day of it?
B: Use the car and go up and down in a day
C: Neither of the above

Written by JMF, 25th May 2020

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