FG 269 A National Color Operative 'enhances' the local amenities with Univisual Green. This postcard was designed exclusively for the US spelling of Color, as 'Colour' to US eyes probably looks as wrong as 'Color' does to British eyes. And since there is a lot of Color/Colour swilling about, it seemed only fair. Sharp-eyed spellsters will also note the 'Z' in 'Colorizing'.

That really is an embroidered logo on the back of my boilersuit. The typescript is Berlin Sans, the adopted font of National Colour. Picture was taken on the Begwyns, above Hay.

Oddly enough, I was once party to an event where we DID paint the grass green. I was on a Qualcast lawnmower shoot in Portugal at the height of the cylinder V Hover lawn mower wars of 1985 (Admen will know what I'm talking about) and we had to get the perfect stripes in the lawn. Sadly, the Lawnmower we were using wasn't up to snuff, and bringing on the upmarket 'Suffolk Punch' didn't work either. Solution: Paint stripes on the lawn using sheets of ply as templates. Voila. Decent, honest, Legal, Truthful? Not really.

Colour postcard, 1000 editions. Given out during USA Shades of Grey tour, January 2010.

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FG 271The future technologies that litter Eddie's world are pretty odd, but none more so than 'Floaties' which are small pieces of scrap metal that appear to defy gravity, or at the very least in some sort of equillibrium with it.

The Floatie harvest every year is gathered in nets, and may realise up to ten merits per negative ounce. The large section tethered here weighs almost eighteen negative ounces, and is one of the larger pieces ever found.

B/W postcard, 1000 editions. Given out during UK Shades of Grey tour, January 2010.

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FG 266 I always like to do at least one 'Weird Village' in my postcard sets that are unrelated to the book. This one is of Syntax, where the residents are constantly having trouble with their word order. The caption on the back reads:

The Little Village of Syntax. To themselves little well village find may unable to be, but once this grammatical rules are themselves, all is understood visitors.

The village is actually Newchurch, right on Offa's Dyke path between Kington and Hay. Well worth a visit if you are on the footpath - the church is open during the summer with a kettle and tea-making equipment to refresh tired walkers. Biscuits, too.

Colour postcard, 1000 editions. Given out during Shades of Grey tour, UK and US during January 2010.

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FG 270 Another one of Bill Mudron and Dylyn Meconis' excellent illustrations, this depicts the inverted monorail currently in use in Chromatacia.

Although only mentioned in passing in the script (to linger would have been to force the point) the notion of inverted monorails kept erect by gyroscope was actually tried, and does work. Quite why you'd trouble yourself I'm not sure, but there you go.

This was, of course, a loophole to get trains past the last Great Leap Backwards. Some bright sprak noted that the Leapback only listed 'Railways' and not a 'Railway' so the Standard Variable was adopted. Very ingenious. The gyros are run by Everspins, and because they are not used for motive power, their use is permitted here.

Colour postcard, 2000 editions. Given out during UK Shades of Grey tour, January 2010.

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FG 267 A National Colour operative repaints a village postbox in Univisual red for the benefit of all. (It would have been visible to Reds anyway, so repainting it is actually a step down for the Reds, who will see it only as an oversaturated blob of colour. Sometimes one hue has to make sacrifices for the good of the many.)

This is the sort of image that is very easy to do on photoshop, and highly effective. I was lucky to get such a good logo of the Splashy paint tin from Chris and Jim Hinman, and have used it extensively, as you can see.

That really is an embroidered logo on the back of my boilersuit. The typescript is Berlin Sans, the adopted font of National Colour. Picture was actually taken in Weobley, Herefordshire.

Colour postcard, 1000 editions. Given out during UK Shades of Grey tour, January 2010.

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FG 265 The Yateveo was one of the many myths brought back by travellers from Central America. Fabrications, of course, but the notion of Carnivorous plants big enough to eat humans does have a certain frisson that large bitey animals don't.

There was a Carnivorous plant in an Avengers episode that I remember frightened the Bejeezus out of me when I was small, and I recently had the pleasure of sitting next to Brian Clemens at dinner and telling him so.

the Yateveo, and all the other animal/plant/building material hybrids that live in Eddie's world give it a nice biotechnological edge.

B/W postcard, 1000 editions. Given out during Shades of Grey tour, UK and US during January 2010.

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FG 268 This is, I expect, just one of the many colour-cards a Colourman would use to test a resident's colour perception during their Ishihara on their twentieth year. You would be asked what you could see.

"...But all doubts came to nought the morning of your Ishihara. No-one could cheat the Colourman and the colour test. What you got was what you were, forever. Your life, career and social standing decided right there and then, and all worrisome life-uncertainties eradicated forever. You knew who you were, what you would do, where you would go, and what was expected of you. In return, you simply accepted your position within the Colourtocracy, and assiduously followed the Rulebook. Your life was mapped. And all in the time it takes to bake a tray of scones. ..."

Colour postcard, 1000 editions. Given out during UK Shades of Grey tour, January 2010.

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FG 264 My public school servitude ran from ages five to nine, when I was required to wear a uniform, belong to a house (Pitt) and have to submit to the humiliation of having ones 'order marks' and 'goods' read out to the whole school.

There were Prefect stairs, too, and a Prefect carpet. It's not like that now, and I was thrown out to the vegetarian savagery of progressive education before my mind went as grey as my winter-worn shorts. In any event, that's where the whole 'Merit System' came from, and this postcard merely warns citizens against falling from the accepted mode of dress.

There's a message to anyone with good Yellow vision, too, but it's tricky to make out here..

Colour postcard, 1000 editions. Given out during Shades of Grey tour, UK and US during January 2010.

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