Competition Winners

"Spot The Hamlet"
Competition Winners

In this competition I asked people to correctly identify the actors from a medley of Hamlet photographs:

Thank you for the voluminous stack of answers and my apologies that it has taken this long to announce the winners. Interestingly, having now spoken to some Danes that I met at the Toronto International Writer's festival, Hamlet isn't regarded with any huge degree of excitement in Denmark - or at least, no more than it is in the rest of the world. They tend to regard Hamlet as an English construction with little historical or cultural significance. A bit like the way we Brits tend to regard Austin Powers.

Anyway, There were 280 answers in total, mostly from the US and UK, but also Canada, Finland, Australia and Norway. Most answers were 80% correct with a few falling short of the full score by failing to correctly identify numbers 2, 3, and, most often, 9 (which had a slight catch to it - but more anon). There were twenty completely correct answers in total and some incorrect answers which are still worthy of inclusion, in particular Jessica Byrd Watters who, although falling at the ninth fence, managed to list all the costume designers. But before we reveal who they were, Bonnie Prather has this to say:

"Look at thy screen and tell what face thou viewest,"
Quoth the Fforde, with promises of prizes grand,
"Name me the Dane " by actor old and newest
Played." I hurried online to meet his command.

Or read this intro from Ann and Sara Cady Scott:

Dear Mr. Fforde

Though this be madness, yet there is method in't. They are not wild and whirling words, my Fforde, though they have a plentifful lack of wit.

You have given us the best actors in the world, either for tragedy, comedy, history, pastoral, pastoral-comical, historical-pastoral, tragical-historical, tragical-comical-historical-pastoral, scene individable, or poet unlimited and we in turn shall do our part. This email is the thing wherein we'll identiffy the 10-Hamlet'd ring.

Read the email, we pray you, as we have typed it to you, trippingly on the keys; but if you mouth it, as many of you English do, we had as lief W. Bush read my lines. Nor do not move the mouse too much with your hand, thus, but use all gently. For, there are more Hamlets in heaven and earth, Mr. Fforde, than are dreamt of by your ffilosoffy. [We must be cruel, only to be kind].

(You can read these two dazzling entries in their entirety as well as the anagrammed version and some other amusing answers after the answers below.)

To lend balance to the proceedings I would be failing in my duty to at least give a passing mention to Nick Meredith who could claim some sort of 'Good Nextian Spirit' prize, although not from me. His entry:

Top row: Hamlet, Yorick. Hamlet, Hamlet, Hamlet, Hamlet, Yorick.

Lower row: Hamlet, Yorick, (upper) Yorick, Hamlet, (lower) Priam, Yorick, Hamlet, Laertes, Hamlet, Rosencrantz, Hamlet. ;-)

Okay, on with the show:

The Answers:

Baron Olivier of Brighton in characteristic pose

No surprises here. How could you have a gallery of Hamlets without Lord Olivier, here in classical Hamlet pose during his 1948 film version, for which Baron Olivier of Brighton won two Academy awards, best film, best actor. Curiously, Olivier was 41 when he played Hamlet in this production and Eileen Hardie, who played his mother, was only 28. It was also the first time in which a director had directed themselves to an Academy award. Sir John Gielgud, no stranger to Hamlet, provided the voice of the ghost. Diana St James adds that both Desmond Llewellyn and Christopher Lee also appear, uncredited. Costume design: Roger Furse.

Forward to Elsinore - and Aqaba!

This is neither Tony Curtis nor Trevor Howard as many of you thought, but Peter O'Toole from the 1963 stage version (he also played Hamlet at the Bristol Old Vic in 1958) directed by Lord Olivier and (predictably enough) the opening production of the National Theatre in London. The NT is a wonderful institution hosted in an ugly lump of concrete that looks as though it was designed by Albert Speer from hastily converted plans from some cross-channel guns he had on the desk. No-one can quite bring themselves to tear it down because it would mean admitting they were all wrong when they said how wonderful it was. Skateboarders made good use of the parking areas, but were swiftly banned. Costume design: Desmond Heely.

To Obi-Wan or not to Obi-Wan

Lots of possibilities here, amongst them: Christopher Plummer, Kevin Kline, Danny Kaye, Robbie Williams (?), Arthur Dent, Anthony Hopkins, Lawrence Harvey and Daniel Day Lewis Not correct. If you think: "These aren't the droids you're looking for" or the entire D'ascoigne family or a Man in a White Suit you would be closer to the mark. This is Sir Alec Guinness in the 1938 Stage version directed, Danica Patterson tells me, by Tyrone Guthrie. She adds that Sir Alec also appeared in the 1934 production directed by John Gielgud in the part of Osric and Third Player. Costume design: Roger Furse again.

From Llareggub to the Queen of the Nile's Lover.
Impressive for a young lad from Port Talbot

This was, of course, Richard Walter Jenkins, or Richard Burton to give him his stage name. He played in the 1964 Tony Award-winning-performance directed by Sir John Gielgud. Diana St James adds that it was the longest consecutive run of the play on Broadway (17 weeks) and gives us a memorable quote from Burton himself (probably not referring to Hamlet): "If you're going to make rubbish, be the best rubbish in it." Costume design: They wore rehearsal clothes, so it would have been Richard Burton.

Long before his Gandalf/Magneto days

Not Jamie Oliver but Sir Ian McKellan, here playing Hamlet in the 1972 TV adaptation - or is it the 1971 Prospect theatre version directed by Robert Chetwyn? Note lower jaw on the skull which is unusual and anatomically unlikely after such a long time in the earth, I am reliably informed. Sir Ian's early fascination with theatre, it is said, begun with a trip to see Peter Pan aged three. Personally, and much to my chagrin, I've never seen him on stage - but for anyone eager for a taste of just how good he can be away from all that popular stuff he does, see Richard Loncraine's version of Richard III with Sir Ian in the title role. Fans of De Havilland Rapides, Dame Maggie Smith, St Pancras Station, Nigel Hawthorne and Battersea Power Station will not be disappointed. For big fans of Macbeth (like me) Sir Ian and Dame Judi's 1976 performance was, by all accounts, the best ever. Book a trip with TimeTours, Inc. as soon as possible - yesterday, if you can. Costume design: Michael Annals

Dear, dear, Johnnie.

None other than Sir John Gielgud who probably played Hamlet more times than any other actor, ever. The photograph apparently shows the 1944 Haymarket version but on this matter there seems to be some doubt - some Hamleticians claim it might be as early as 1930. We all agree that he was born on April 14, 1904 and was knighted in 1953. He won an Oscar for playing the butler in Arthur, mostly by delighting audiences by swearing in such sonorous tones. Despite this, he is perhaps best known for his astonishing versatility and myriad interpretations of Shakespeare's works. He also starred in Branagh's Hamlet as Priam and could proudly boast as an actor that the longest period he had out of work since 1930 was two weeks. He is now a theatre in London's West End. I saw One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest there because my friend Brendan played the chief. He (and it) were very good. Costume Designer: Beatrice Dawson.

Danica tells me that his 1948 radio production is still available today, and alerted me to a Sybil Thorndyke quote: "Those who saw the Hamlet of John Gielgud have a memory of something hauntingly beautiful for which to be grateful all their lives."

Mel Gibson reprising his 'Lethal Weapon' character for Franco Zefferelli

Mel Gibson in the 1992 movie version which also featured Glenn Close, a favourite of mine, and Helena Bonham-Carter, who now amusingly refers to herself as 'Period Drama Cliche'. Rumour has it that Zefferelli cast Mel after seeing him doing the 'to be or not to be' sequence at the beginning of Lethal Weapon but somehow I am a little doubtful. Other people also make the connection between Lethal Weapon and Hamlet with the mock-crazy but maybe-he-is-really-crazy goofiness, although quite where the exploding toilet fits in I'm not quite sure. Mel makes a good glowering Hamlet with the brooding knob set to 11, and his version is also notable for its brevity, an attribute not generally foisted on to Hamlet. Mel Columcille Gerard Gibson (yes, really) was born in 1956, in Peekskill, New York, but was raised in Australia. His movie career has been extremely good although Brits who could stay awake in history class might question his historical revisionism in Braveheart and The Patriot. More recently his bold venture into biblical subject matter has caused a welcome whirlwind in the usually torpid cinema-going public, and has probably had Cecil B DeMille spinning in his grave. Costume Designer: Francesca Lo Schiavo. The gravedigger was Trevor Peacock, who is now a stalwart cast member of The Vicar of Dibley.

A triptych of Hamlets

There are actually three Hamlets in this picture, although by the look of Kenneth Branagh's lack of years, goatee and blonde hair, he has yet to do the film version. On the left John Gielguid, in the middle Kenneth Charles Branagh, whose services to Shakespearean cinema are impeccable. The story goes that he had the finance for Henry V in a ten minute phone call, then followed it up with a gorgeous Much ado About Nothing where his sparring with then wife Emma Thompson was delightful, although to be honest Keanu Reeves was a lot better in Speed than he was here. Love's Labour's Lost has never been one of my favourite plays so I'm a little negative about this one, but Branagh's Hamlet has to be the pinnacle of his acting and directing career. I've said this before and I'll say it again: see this movie, - all four hours of it - and then see it again. And again. Not many films get better with each viewing, but this one does. Why is it not on DVD yet? Interestingly, Derek Jacobi on the right was also a fine Hamlet in his own right - it was said the young Kenneth saw him on stage and decided he wanted to be an actor on the strength of it. Jacobi also played an impeccable Claudius in Branagh's filmed Hamlet - the look of horror when he realises that the queen is going to drink the poison is extraordinary. There is a theatrical legend in the UK that a red-leather bound edition of Hamlet is passed from one Hamlet to the next down the years - Derek reportedly gave Ken the book at the end of the film version. Branagh still has it. One wonders who will be next ...

A Hamlet, yet not in a Hamlet.

This was the trick question - Lots of suggestions, including but not limited to: Maurice Evans, Sarah Bernhardt, John Barrymore, Errol Flynn, Asta Nielsen (who?) or Ralph Richardson. This is none other than Michael Redgrave, but here acting in Richard II at the Shakespeare Memorial Theatre Company, 1951. He played Hamlet many times in the fifties but I couldn't find a picture of him doing it. I was a great fan of his film work and still am - Dead of Night still gives me the willies. Diana St James brought a wonderful anecdote to my attention. During a production of Hamlet in which Olivier played Hamlet and Redgrave played Laertes, Olivier came onstage to announce, "Ladies and gentlemen, tonight a great actress has been born. Laertes has a daughter." It was Vanessa Redgrave.

A Hawke from a Handsaw

Ethan Hawke from the 2000 film version by Michael Almereyda. I'll go out on a limb here and say that I actually enjoyed this, although purists might scoff - much as they did during Baz Lurhman's Romeo + Juliet, I'm sure. Costume design: Marco Cattoretti and Luca Mosca.

The Winners

Picked out of the 'all correct' hat at random were the following winners, all of whom get a signed copy of Something Rotten and a complete set of '7 Wonders of Swindon' postcards. And my thanks for all who took part.

USA:

Bonnie Prather, Ann and Sara Cady Scott, Diana St James, Daniel Lewis, Elizabeth McCollum.

UK and Commonwealth:

Steve James, Anna Lowman, Danica Patterson, Joseph Prinz, Sue Gedge.

But don't go away! The fun isn't half over. As promised, the complete answers from the serious Hamlet-torch-carriers. First, Ann and Sara Cady Scott:

Dear Mr. Fforde

Though this be madness, yet there is method in't. They are not wild and whirling words, my Fforde, though they have a plentifful lack of wit.

You have given us the best actors in the world, either for tragedy, comedy, history, pastoral, pastoral-comical, historical-pastoral, tragical-historical, tragical-comical-historical-pastoral, scene individable, or poet unlimited and we in turn shall do our part. This email is the thing wherein we'll identiffy the 10-Hamlet'd ring.

Read the email, we pray you, as we have typed it to you, trippingly on the keys; but if you mouth it, as many of you English do, we had as lief W. Bush read my lines. Nor do not move the mouse too much with your hand, thus, but use all gently. For, there are more Hamlets in heaven and earth, Mr. Fforde, than are dreamt of by your ffilosoffy. [We must be cruel, only to be kind].

For, in the end, Lord Olivier will rise, though all the others o'erwhelm him, to men's eyes.

But, do you think Hamlet is easier played by a Pete"

Perhaps he is meant to be a very Guinness in the cap of youth.

But to my mind, - though we are natives here and to the manner born, - it is a character more honoured by the Burton.

Then again, Ian was a man, take him for all in all, we shall not look upon his like again (save when he plays Gandalf).

Imperious Gielgud dead and turned to clay, might stop a hole to keep the wind away. Alas, poor Sir John! We knew him, Jasper: a ffellow of inffinite jest, of most excellent ffancy.

Ffrailty, thy name is Gibson, Mel most ffoul. The play, I remember, pleased not the million.

Here's metal more attractive. Neither a Geilgud nor a Jacobi be; For mimicry oft loses both itself and ffriend, and borrowing dulls the blonde of Branagh.

Something is rotten in the state of England: here is a man a little more than Vanessa, and less than Lynn. Old Mike of Bristol, time-honoured Redgrave, playest thou Hamlet or Dick"

How weary, stale, fflat, and unproffitable seem to us all the uses of this world! For we well know a Hawke from a handsaw. We would have such a ffellow whipped for o'erdoing Hamlet. Why wouldst thou be a breeder of Stiles"

And the complete answers, in verse, from Bonnie Prather:

"Look at thy screen and tell what face thou viewest,"
Quoth the Fforde, with promises of prizes grand,
"Name me the Dane " by actor old and newest
Played." I hurried online to meet his command.

Top to bottom, left to right, the Hams are named "
Lawrence Olivier, angst-filled as ever;
Trevor Howard, so my clever father claimed;
Pete" O"Toole, I'm sure as good as Trevor.

Right, Alec Guinness without Obi"s powers;
Mel Gibson channels Oedipus when near mum.
Kenneth Branagh"s "Hamlet" lasts 40 hours.
Others there had Hamlet already become:
Sir John Gielgud played Hamlet in "34;
Derek Jacobi, "80 " just as hardcore.

We"ve passed the middle, I stop to cheer aloud!
My cat Lewis ("smart" as Pickwick) flees the room.
I later find him beneath my bed and cowed,
But for now, let"s our Danish Prince Hunt resume.

Richard Burton gravely sits atop the page,
Speaking a soliloquy to my ceiling;
Michael Redgrave seems to be upon the stage "
(He a girl I was initially feeling!)

I take a moment for Ian McKellen "
Could Thursday meet Tolkien" I"d lead a tour!
("Geek" am I " Elvish is not beyond my ken)
Ethan Hawke, to end this, is not as obscure.

The Verse Meter Anal. will show I"m not Will,
But I hope for this sport, I had *enough* skill.

Not to be outdone, Dave Keyt sent in his answers in anagram form:

1 Once a Ruler - Evil I (Laurence Olivier) 1948

2 Eel Toe Troop (Peter O'Toole) 1958

3 (David) Lean's Cue Sign (Alec Guinness) 1938

4 Arthur Bidcorn (Richard Burton) 1964

5 Clink Enamel (Ian McKellen) 1972

6 Lob's Me Gin or Big Melons(Mel Gibson) 1990

7 Hole Judging or Duel Gig John (does matinees too) (John Gielgud) As early as 1930 but did Hamlet over 500 times

8 Hang Kent Barn Hen (Kenneth Branagh) 1996 (also pictured are two more Hamlets - John Gielgud and Derek Jacobi (1980))

9 Aldrich Rasphorn (Ralph Richardson) 1936 (whoops!)

10 Ah - Thank Ewe (Ethan Hawke) 1999

Philip Graves wrote a very detailed reply, also miscasting Sir Michael Redgrave, but finishing with what can only be described as something akin to an explosion in an anagram factory:

Now... HAMLET ANAGRAMS!

Hamlet's famous words from Act III, scene 1 have been regularly anagrammed. Most famously:

"To be or not to be: that is the question; whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune..."

"In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten."

Equally, the fuller quote:

"To be or not to be: that is the question; whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing, end them?"

"..is a befitting quote from one of Shakespeare's greatest tragedies. But why won't Hamlet's inspiring motto toss our stubborn hero's tortuous battle for life, on one hand, and death, on another?"

Likewise, the musing from Act II, scene 2:

"What a piece of work is a man!
How noble in reason!
How infinite in faculty!
In form and moving how express and admirable!
In action how like an angel!
In apprehension how like a god!
The beauty of the world!
The paragon of animals!"
can be rearranged to indicate that

"Hamlet, in a Shakespearean masterpiece, wonders about humankind. "Wow! Excellent one-off brain. Wow! Clever, deity-like in animation! Whoa! Top organism in a raffish Earth! Good, holy, non-plain. No fib? Ah! No! Hiding a whooping flaw."

...oddly phrased (naturally), but almost apt...!

And to close, Taleena Sinclair enlightened me with the following observations about Mel Gibson and Rufus Sewell: (both of whom she fancies, clearly)

Middle photo: Mel Gibson in his 1990 version. I would really have like to enjoy him in tights on the big screen, I think my grandma would have enjoyed him too if I hadn't been trying to explain just who Fortinbras was and why he always seems to get cut from screenplays. You'd think a power mad, revenging, treaty breaking general would grab some Hollywood limelight, alas he never seems to be given justice until Rufus Sewell.

Back to Fforde Grand Central